when she came back, sometime during that long descent from paradise back to earth, she thought of all the pictures she hadn't taken. she had, for instance, a picture of her with jan, a picture of her with judith, a picture of jan and judith, but no picture of the three of them. it was like a memory that had been stolen, a hole left in place of something precious.
she remembered though, everything clearly. but once a year had passed, she found her memory failing her. instead of 2 seconds, it took her 2 minutes, then 2 hours, to remember obscure names and faces. so she decided to remember all she could and write it down, preserve it when the images were at their strongest. and maybe even fill in the holes that she'd brought with her during her hasty and premature departure.
coming back though...things were different and yet all the same. it was so many things. it was her, her eyes, her mind - all had been slightly altered while living abroad. she found it funny how three years could effectively wipe out an entire childhood, confining it to an obscure and sadly rose-colored memory of the past that no longer seemed real. but it wasn't just her - she had left at a time ripe for change, and change had come. the landscape was different, the culture had been introduced to reality shows and diet pills, politics had veered wildly into the realm of the mad hatter. she felt quite a lot like alice these days, lost and looking for the elusive white rabbit of compromise, while all the while, mad king george sat upon his white throne and screamed "off with her head!" from washington. she imagined it was a bit like being color-blind - you see things like everyone else, only skewed just slightly, off-center by just a bit. it isn't much, but it's enough to unnerve a person.
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