that new car smell

as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the main road connecting him to the rest of the town, he suddenly smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. the car was new, a bright and shiny black suv, guzzling gas unapologetically and looking like every third car on the road, smelling that dizzying new car smell. the car was so new in fact, that it didn't have a license plate.
the plates would take some time coming in, but the dealer had attached one of those temporary yellow paper license numbers that come standard with all new vehicles. except robert had taken the yellow piece of paper off that morning in the garage, to wipe off the fingerprints his kids had inevitably smudged onto the rear windshield. "shit," he muttered. "shit shit shit."

what was done was done though - he was only going grocery shopping after all. it was five minutes from his house down a dirt highway, when the police would be concentrating on the other poor bastards stuck on major roads during rush hour in a midsummer heat wave. he'd make it.

he kept checking his rearview mirror just in case. it was like those times he'd left his driver's license at home and realized it halfway through the hour-long drive to a friend's house. his wife had said to just keep going, to follow speed limits and traffic laws, npt drink too much before coming home, and no one would notice. only he knew, and the guilt beaded into perspiration on his brow. he saw police cars everywhere he looked, knew that something would give him away, and practically held his breath the entire time he was in the car. he'd made it, but just barely without succumbing to the small heart-attack rumbles in his chest.

the dirt road soon connected to the main artery that ran through town, and robert's suv lay hidden among the larger and smaller cars of people on their way home from work. it was a sultry summer afternoon, the sun relenting a bit to dusk with the promise of returning in the morning with more 100 degree weather. lost in a haze of introspection, robert realized too late that he was in the right-turn-only lane when he needed to go straight. he revved the engine past the traffic light and cut sharply in front of the car to his left. the driver behind him honked his horn and waved angry fists.

"dumb move bobby boy, dumb move," robert was muttering to himself again. in this town, every little infraction of the law was caught by citizen do-gooders - traffic misdemeanors were reported post haste to the police hotline, complete with license plate number...

license plate number! he didn't have one! robert whooped out loud in realization that he could not be caught. he shot the driver behind him the finger out his window and revved the engine a bit more. he swerved in and out of three lanes, taking over cars going too slow, edging out in front of the line of traffic, to the sound of more protesting carhorns. but he didn't care - robert tyler could not be caught tonight! the adrenaline rush was too much, this sudden intoxicating anonymity, this reckless abandonment of any inhibition. given to any man, it would have been a temptation, and robert tyler was a weaker man than most. he pulled way too fast into the local safeway's parking lot, and proceeded inside the store with a jaunty step.

thiry minutes later, he loaded the trunk with groceries and was off again, a speed demon in a black instrument of destruction. he broke red lights on the way home, and back on the familiar dirt road, he drove faster than the speed limit would ever allow. to be without limits, to be totally and completely free is exhilirating stuff. it is the reason people become alcoholics and druggies, why people get stoned and soar on homemade lsd. it is the dark persona of man, the dropping of any pretense of middle-class morals and the boost of personal morale.

from that day forward, robert became a man possessed. he took up a mistress, after 18 years of blissfully mediocre married life. he drove the hour up to las vegas and gambled away life's savings. he lived fast and loose, became a man unhinged. all because of that fateful day, because of a certain new car smell...